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Cursed Child…

*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*

*SPOILERS BELOW*

*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*

That should be enough to cover the intro, yeah? Cool.

Major questions:

  1. Yes, I have read the Cursed Child.
  2. Yes, I did like it.
  3. Yes, I did have some issues with various parts.
  4. No, I don’t know how to review it without spoilers.

I feel that I need to use this as a blog post about it rather than an actual review. Then tag it as spoilerific and be done with it.

For reals though, I actually did enjoy it. The play is well written and it’s super easy to imagine the settings and scenery, although that could be because there is 20 years of back story and world building behind it. Either way that was something that surprised me, in a good way.

I loved Scorpius Malfoy. He is a gem of a character and such a sweetie. I love that the main characters are Slytherins, changing the perceptions of the Slytherin house after years of “all Slytherins are evil”. They aren’t inherently brave or genius’s or loyal to the point of stupidity, but they are still good people. It actually perpetuates the theory put forward by Professor Dumbledore, that they sort too early. Both Albus and Scorpius prove themselves to be brave and loyal in the course of the play, clearly showing not only Slytherin traits, but Gryffindor and Hufflepuff ones as well. The  trick with the blanket could be seen as Ravenclawesq too. Draco enjoying being bossed around by Hermione was also a highlight.

Why is everyone hating on the Trolly Witch? I think it’s a great twist. Take a previously 2 dimensional character, with very little page time, who is basically a painting on the wall of the set designer and give her an extra dimension and a bit of menace, brilliant!

Now… The less fun part. Apart from a personal aversion to stories featuring a ‘Back to the Future’ plot line (something I think has been done to death) I was actually enjoying this story, right up to the part where they destroyed everything. This is the reason I cannot write a spoiler free review, I have too much to say about this. And no one to say it too, since no one I know has read it yet.

Delphi. Voldemort. Voldemort and Bellatrix. This is not OK. This is so out of character, it’s someone else entirely. Voldemort has always struck me as a soulless, heartless beast of a person, more wraith than human. He has always been a sexless being. Myself and thousands of others imagined him as a Ken Doll down there. To give him this human urge is to take away from the menacing, Otherness of him. He was not human in so many ways and now he is. If I do then acknowledge that, OK Voldy is a man like any other, I still can’t correlate the character that I know with a man who would willingly have a child. And it would have to be willingly, Voldemort has never shown restraint or mercy for children in the past, he would not hesitate to kill Bellatrix for trying to have his child without permission. Then there is the question of timing. When did this pregnancy happen? Delphi states during her showdown with Harry that it was “Before the battle of Hogwarts” but that’s unspecific. The general ‘before’ time scale to me suggests it was close to the battle, as does her age in the play. But Bellatrix was holed up in Malfoy Manor with a whole host of other people, there is no way she could have conceived, carried and given birth to Voldemort’s child without anyone noticing! It’s just not logical. It pokes more holes into a previously established timeline than Swiss cheese and I can’t accept it. Honestly, I feel like Team Starkid called most of this plot like 7 years ago and the only way I can accept a Voldemort who’s sleeping with Bellatrix is if he is also singing about dancing and using a giant slide to get into Hogwarts.

Rant over, like I said, I actually did enjoy the play, I feel that it would be amazing to see on stage, the magic of theatre and the magic of potter in one place! I’m leaning towards not counting it as canon and thinking of it as a separate entity, then my mind can rest easy.

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